Shout Out To My Ex
by EHSparkwoman
Summary: Deathsaurus plays a prank on Tarn after attacking the Necrobot's base. It's hard to tell who is more traumatised; Tarn or Megatron. Crack fic; not to be taken too seriously.


**AN: I don't own Transformers; it belongs to whoever created it. I do like writing silly fics with them in though. Like this one! Takes place at the start of issue 51 of MTMTE. This fic is pure crack; and is definitely not to be taken seriously. Underlined text is song lyrics.**

Rodimus was busy cursing Getaway's name when they heard the sound of gunfire outside.

"Do they normally knock like that?" He asked Megatron; considering he'd know this particular band of psychos better than the rest of them.

"Tarn's showing us how strong he is."

"Or isn't; considering he didn't break through the door." Whirl commented; folding his arms.

"Tarn isn't trying to break through. He's trying to frighten us." Megatron told them. None of them had realised that it had fallen silent outside.

"Doesn't he do that by playing his theme song? You know the one…" Swerve shivered. The speakers in the main room crackled; and everyone inside went silent.

Outside, Tarn, Deathsaurus and several of the more heavily armed bots from the Warworld were firing at the walls. They were shaking; but not falling, just as had been requested. Tarn held up a hand and called for ceasefire. Everyone stopped firing; turning to look confusedly at Tarn.

"Do you not think it's time for them to face the music?" Tarn smirked behind the mask.

"I think he wants us to play his theme song." Deathsaurus grinned. Tarn was going to be in for a shock.

"As you command, Deathsaurus!" One of the bots said; Tarn didn't notice which one. The speakers inside and outside crackled to life.

This is a shout out to my ex! Tarn's optics widened; because that was quite clearly not the Empyrean Suite.

"Deathsaurus, is this your idea of a joke?" Tarn asked over the song.

"Listen to it. My team thought it appropriate." Deathsaurus informed him; trying very hard not to laugh. Tarn glared at Deathsaurus; aware that he'd been pranked, but listened to the song.

Inside meanwhile, the fear in the air evaporated when they heard the first line.

"I thought the Empyrean Suite was scary. This is really upbeat!" Tailgate remarked, liking the sound of what was playing.

"That is not the Empyrean Suite." Cyclonus informed him with folded arms.

"It's a pop song from Earth!" Swerve grinned.

"I think Tarn _is_ trying to tell us something; but it isn't what Megatron thought it was!" Rodimus laughed. Megatron felt embarrassment start to wash over him with that comment.

I hope she getting better sex

Hope she ain't faking it like I did, babe Megatron felt his cheeks heat; just because of the less mature members of his crew laughing at that line. It made some of them ponder if Megatron had had sex with Tarn; and decided they didn't want to know.

"You listening, Emperor?" Deathsaurus asked.

"Why would you do this?" Tarn asked in return. Deathsaurus was a little annoyed Tarn couldn't see it. _You're better off without him; you don't need to do this. He'll kill you and that will be a waste to the universe._ Deathsaurus thought, but would never say. Decepticons didn't show worry for each other.

"Listen; it's trying to tell you something." Tarn growled; but listened.

Guess I should say thank you for the hate yous and the tattoos

Oh baby, I'm cool, by the way

Ain't sure I loved you, anyway Tarn looked confused; what could this be trying to tell him? It appeared to be a song about someone who wanted vengeance; like he did. He didn't hear the next line but heard the change in sound.

Shout out to my ex!

You're really quite the man!

You made my heart break and that made me who I am!

Here's to my ex!

Hey, look at me now!

Well I'm, I'm all the way up, I swear you'll never bring me down! Tarn then got it. The song was trying to say he was better off without Megatron. Though, what an ex was; he didn't know. Inside, Megatron had gotten settled on the floor; intending to curl up. The lyrics were right; he'd broken Tarn's spark by defecting and that had brought this nightmare to pass. Having upbeat pop music from that rotten planet played at him. While Tarn was waiting outside for him to come out and face him.

"Think you might have ticked off your ex Megatron." Whirl sounded smug; his optic forming a crescent.

"Tarn isn't my…"

"Does he know that?" Rodimus grinned; a bot that played girly pop songs couldn't be that scary, now could they?

Yeah, yeah you took all you could get

But you ain't getting this line no more 

Even though you broke my heart in two, baby

When I snap right back I'm so brand new, baby (I'm so brand new)

Boy read my lips I'm over you, over you _I hope he is over Megatron; after all, an Autobot is no use to the Decepticon cause. Apart from as target practice._ Deathsaurus thought with a smirk.

"Agreed, Tarn?" He asked; his mind elsewhere.

"Agreed what?" The tank-former looked confused.

"You're over him?" Deathsaurus hoped so.

"I think so." Tarn answered; hearing what he guessed was the chorus start up. Some of the other bots outside were singing along with it.

"Then why not sing along?" Tarn's optics widened. _Sing along, with this?! Why would I want to?_ Tarn asked as such.

"Because it's true? If you really feel that way; it lets the feelings free. Besides… I quite like singing this one myself." Deathsaurus lied; he wouldn't sing along with this song, period. Tarn looked to be considering it though. Deathsaurus had made sure Tarn had a mic on him; just in case he wanted to speak to the cowards inside. It was also going to pay off in a moment; since it would mean that the cowards would hear Tarn sing. A female voice was singing solo; while the music was quiet. Tarn started to sing along with her. A small amount of his talent crept into his voice. The chorus started up again in earnest and Deathsaurus pulled a small remote out of subspace. It would switch on Tarn's mic and change the song to a 'carry-oaky' version. So Tarn would be singing in place of the singer; and hopefully humiliate Megatron further.

Shout out to my ex!

You're really quite the man (you're quite the man)

You made my heart break and that made me who I am!

Here's to my ex!

Hey, look at me now!

Well I'm, I'm all the way up, I swear you'll never bring me down (you'll never bring me down!) Everyone then heard the vocals change; a rich baritone in place of the feminine vocals. Megatron knew straight away what it was and felt his cheeks blaze. _Tarn was singing it._ That just made everyone laugh harder; though whether it was at the fact Tarn was singing or that Megatron was blushing remained unknown.

"Shout out to my ex! You're really quite the man! You made my heart break and that made me who I am! Here's to my ex! Hey, look at me now! Well I'm, I'm all the way up, I swear you'll never, you'll never bring me down!" Tarn heard the Warworld crew laughing and then realised why. He could only hear the music; no vocals. That was the prank; Deathsaurus had wanted him to sing a really girly song. In public. And all of them just heard him sing. Tarn felt his cheeks blaze beneath the mask.

"You have quite the voice, Tarn." Deathsaurus remarked; his smile all sharp teeth. He'd flicked the switch again; just as the song ended. He got on his comm; making the bot on the other end jump.

:: Leozack, you owe me 500 credits. ::

:: You got him to…? ::

:: Yeah I got Tarn to sing. There will be recorded evidence given to you shortly. :: Leozack grumbled to himself after the comm closed. He'd expected Deathsaurus would lose that one.

**AN: So… I was listening to the song that gives the fic its title (Shout Out to my Ex, by Little Mix) and this idea came to me. It was just crazy enough to warrant writing. Although, originally; ****_all_**** of the D.J.D. were going to sing along with it. Really; I just wanted a fic where Tarn sings something ****_really_**** inappropriate for the situation. Carry-oaky is karaoke (say 'carry-oaky' out loud) in case anyone didn't realise. Leozack probably said something like 'Tarn would never sing in public' and Deathsaurus would have said something like '500 credits says he would'; causing that bet. Hope this silly fic made you laugh.**


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